Your forfeit. My forfeit.
by Tiyara oruntia
Summary: This is what happens hen two authors get too much time on their hands. The result...a zellvine! No....this is not a yaoi! But this story pits Zell against Irvine in the craziest situations ever! Sit back and relax for the beginning! Oh and please review t


DISCLAIMER: Squaresoft owns all the Final Fantasy characters here and I want to see the movie! ^_^   
  
  
The cheerful music drifted out from the common room accompanied by the sound of rambunctious voices. A large group of seeds are converged in the centre of the room as they surround the large table. Irvine Kinneas lounged back in his chair comfortably, the air of nonchalance evident in that gesture. Tipping back his hat with his index finger, he smiled in smug satisfaction towards the man opposite him before drawling,   
  
"Checkmate and you lose, I have an Ace full house. I'll see how you beat that."   
  
Irvine's long fingers fiddled with the cuffs of his trench coat, concealing the card he has there. He leaned forward, his violet eyes glittering in satisfaction as he slowly turned over each card. Zell Dincht blinked as he stared at the cards and cried out,   
  
"Hey!"  
  
Irvine gives a masculine chuckle at the expression on Zell's face before he continues,   
  
"That means...you lost the bet, Zell. Now...let's see what should your forfeit be?"   
  
Leaning back to contemplate Zell's fate, he fails to notice the grin until it is too late. The silence of the crowd drew his attention back to Zell. This time, Zell had the look of smug satisfaction on his face as he simply gestured towards his opened hand. It was a Royal Flush, the biggest set that can ever be obtained in a game of Poker. Irvine looked stunned as his fingers groped for the card in his cuff link. The card was still there. He blinked. Zell grinned widely as he presses both hands down on the table,  
  
"Allright, Irvine. You lost the bet. Now...for the forfeit. I have just the thing for you to do!"   
  
The crowd on Zell's side looked disappointed as Zell leaned in and whispered something into the dazed cowboy's ears. The cowboy's face slowly turned red and he growled,   
  
"I can't do a thing like that!"   
  
Zell continue grinning widely as he replied,   
  
"Well...you lost the bet and if you renege on it, you're not a man."  
  
Irvine stared at him for a long while before he smirks and replied in an ominous tone,   
  
"Just you wait. I'll get you for this."   
  
Irvine rises out of his chair in a fluid gesture as he sweeps back his coat and stalks out of the room. Zell simply punches in the air as he cheers,   
  
"Score!"   
  
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Clinking utensils and comfortable babble, familiar sounds of the canteen during lunchtime. Quistis, Selphie, Rinoa and Squall were seated at the officers' table, speaking quietly among themselves. Quistis was the first to notice the scent as she pauses mid-way through her response. She glances around the table before looking upwards. Her eyes widens slightly.  
  
The strong scent of the rose perfume permeates around the table as a polite cough punctuates the air. Zell grinned widely towards the group as he says with a barely suppressed snicker,   
  
"I would all like you to meet...erm... Erva. She's a friend of mine from Galbadia."   
  
Their gaze turned to the tall lanky lady next to him. Her beautiful long brown hair were tied at both sides in a bright fuchsia bow, giving her two long ponytails at each side of her head. She was dressed in a full-length red taffeta dress with ruffles along the side and ruffles along the hem. Her feet were encased in extraordinary large red high-heeled stilettos, which explained her clinging onto Zell as she teeters unsteadily. Her lips were a bright red as she smiled thinly towards the group. Her violet eyes were highlighted with dark red kohl and her cheeks were blushed a pinkish red.   
  
"Oh hello! I never knew that you had a friend from Galbadian before, Zell! You have to let Irvine see her. He might be glad to meet an old friend from Galbadia!"   
  
Selphie pipes up cheerfully as she beams up towards the tall lady,   
  
"Come and sit down here! Are you a Seed as well? Were you on a mission, that's why you're dressed like this! I wish I knew who made you up."   
  
Selphie continues cheerfully. Quistis and Rinoa exchanged glances with each other while Squall remained silent, though a smirk does cross his lips. Zell was trying pretty hard to keep his laughter down as he lead his 'lady friend' to the waiting seat, making sure his friend took a seat next to Squall.   
  
Erva shoots murderous glances towards Zell before she smiles ever so sweetly as she answers Selphie's questions,   
  
"Yes dear, I was on a mission and I am a Seed. Zell had a friend who helped me with my make up."   
  
Erva gestures towards Zell in a thoroughly masculine manner as she continues to smile at Selphie. As Erva turns her attention to Squall, Selphie scratches her head and comments in a puzzled tone,   
  
"You know you remind me of someone, but I don't know who. Hmm..."   
  
Erva proceeds to place her hand on Squall's shoulders as she speaks to him huskily,   
  
"Commander Squall Leonhart, I've heard absolutely so much about you. You are the greatest Commander that Garden ever have. Are you attached?"  
  
Erva proceeds to lean closer to Squall as she speaks, letting him get the full effect of her rose perfume. Zell continued to guffaw at the side, eliciting strange looks from Selphie as she hops out from the table and prods him,   
  
"What are you laughing at!?"   
  
Zell simply shakes his head as he continues to laugh, his arms around his stomach as he muttered,   
  
"I really need to get a camera."   
  
Quistis continued to gaze at Erva, studying her intensely as she cups her chin in her hands. Rinoa looks at Erva with some annoyance as she replies for Squall,  
  
"Yes, he happens to be attached...to me!"   
  
Erva slides a glance towards Rinoa (was there a faint pleading look in those violet eyes?) as she continued to smile thinly and flickers her gaze back to Squall,   
  
"I don't really see any...part of you...that is attached to her. Hmm... Are you free tonight for dinner?"   
  
Squall calmly brushed Erva's hand off his shoulder before he turned to her and simply state,   
  
"I'm not interested."   
  
He proceeds to calmly continue to eat his food as though nothing have happened. Zell burst into another bout of laughter as he falls to the ground rolling around.   
  
Erva growled, this time her voice sounded quite obviously masculine as she muttered,   
  
"I'm out of here."   
  
She gets out from the chair and proceeds to trip on her stilettos, falling in a clumsy heap on the ground. The hem of her dress rides up slightly to show extremely hairy legs. She simply takes off both shoes from her legs and flicks back her hair before stalking out of the room. A couple of interested admirers followed after her. There was a loud shout from outside and gunshots were heard after that.   
  
Selphie scratches her head and taps Squall on the shoulder lightly,   
  
"Oh you were so lucky, Squall, that gal has just about the most hairiest legs that I've ever seen! They do look awfully familiar though, I wonder where I have seen them before! Hmm!"   
  
A light bulb appears to goes off in Quistis's head and the serene blonde looked stunned momentarily before she smiled.   
  
Author's Note: This is a collaboration by two crazy gals who have too much time on their hands! Expect the unexpected! So sit back and enjoy a crazy rip roaring time as we proceed to desecrate and humiliate our respective men in hilarious situations. On the left side the ring is oruntia with her beloved sidekick Irvine Kinneas and on the right side of the ring is Tiyara, the unofficial President of the Zell Dincht Fan club. This bunch of stories have no relation at all to our current fictions, so don't be disappointed or anything. Just sit back, take a drink, smoke a cigar, kiss a gal or guy and relax. Enjoy. Oh..please don't forget to review too! Next up, oruntia!   
  



End file.
